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Freddie

Written by sdettorre

Some people have the knack of turning whatever they touch into a success. King Midas had this power by turning everything he touched into gold. Run DMC even mentioned it in their song Peter Piper. NFL coach Bill Parcells turns every team he runs into a winner. He’s done it in New York twice, New England and Dallas. Run DMC didn’t write a song about him though. Finally Dennis Farina has the same touch in the entertainment industry. The man who played Ray Bones in Get Shorty has also had integral roles (and memorable lines) in Out of Sight, Snatch, Empire Falls and Law & Order.

Conversely, others have the opposite effect on whatever they come in contact with. For example, Buddy Bell has managed three teams in Major League Baseball over seven seasons (Royals, Tigers and Rockies) for a combined record of 388-531. He’s had one season above .500 yet he gets hired over and over again for some reason. The point behind all of this is that last week I wrote a column on Hot Properties, stating that it wasn’t an awful show and there’s a lot worse on air right now. As if ABC waited for me to write a column on Hot Properties, they cancelled it less than a week after my column ran. Hence I fall into the Buddy Bell category of “touch”. With that it mind, this week’s column is on the pillar ABC’s Wednesday night lineup…Freddie.

Freddie stars 90s teen movie icon Freddie Prinze Jr. (a.k.a. Mr. Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as Freddie Moreno. Freddie is the head chef at a trendy Chicago restaurant. His partner in crime is Chris played by the “Didn’t I see him parking cars last week?” Brian Austin Green. Freddie has a great apartment in Chicago that resembles Frasier’s pad in Seattle. The only thing missing is John Mahoney in an old green recliner yelling “I’m incarcerated Lloyd!” However, Freddie’s older brother passed away so his sister-in-law moved in. His sister’s marriage fell apart so she moved in along with her 13-year-old daughter. Finally, Freddie’s grandmother who refuses to speak English and only speaks in Spanish even though she knows English also lives with him. I don’t know why. All that’s missing is Shaggy and Scooby and Freddie can have the whole Mystery Machine in his apartment. The show revolves around Freddie’s relationships with the women in his life who he lives with and his attempts at finding love in the big city. If this show sounds like it’s too good to be true then you need to get your hearing checked.

Here is a Cliff Notes version of every episode. Freddie’s sister struggles to adapt to getting back into the world of dating while maintaining some sort of parental control over her daughter. Freddie meets a girl and instantly falls in love only to end up on the friend tip. David Silver (I refuse to acknowledge Brian Austin Green as anything else) scores with some absurdly beautiful woman who never would have hung out with him during his freshman year at West Beverly and Freddie’s grandmother speaks Spanish. That’s it.

Since I’ve wrapped up this waste of a half hour in one paragraph allow me to take the rest of this column to analyze who has had the better career between Freddie Prinze Jr. and David Silver.

Freddie Prinze Jr. broke onto the scene in the I Know What You Did Last Summer films. Personally I think these movies were horrible but they came out when Kevin Williamson was the best thing since plastic surgery in Hollywood with the success of Scream and Dawson’s Creek. So combining high school kids that lived near a body of water into a horror movie seemed logical at the time. Then again so did my decision to move to Boston (current temperature lows in the 30s) over Miami (current temperature highs in the 80s) when I was 22. As I’ve said before, hindsight is 20/20.

Freddie Prinze then went on to make moderately successful films in She’s All That, Summer Catch and Boys and Girls. Unfortunately Matthew Lillard is in most of his films and if there’s a more annoying actor out there I dare you to name him. Then Freddie decided to scrap the high school/college lead roles to play Fred in the celluloid version of Scooby Doo. Sometimes playing a cartoon character is a smart move, like Spider-Man or Batman. However most of the time it is a disastrous decision. One has to look only to Robert De Niro, who hasn’t been the same actor since he played Fearless Leader in the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, to see where this career move usually takes you. And Freddie Prinze never played Max Cady or a young Vito Corleone. It’s no surprise the scripts stopped coming in and Mr. Michelle Gellar had to turn to a horrible TV show, which he pays for, for work. Freddie is married to Sarah Michelle Gellar but if he keeps making career choices like these she may look elsewhere for someone to bring home the bacon. In case Buffy is reading, I’m not kosher.

David Silver also fell off the face of the earth after he married Donna Martin as the Beverly Hills 90210 ship sailed into the sunset in 2000. Then again he didn’t really have much going before 90210. But in between being a no-name and becoming a has been David Silver was a member of one of the best shows (and longest running) of the last 25 years. For 10 years he had consistent work where he got to play a character that lived the dream. He went from a nerd with one friend to tearing up dance floors with a popular girl, hanging out at The Peach Pit and riding in a silver Corvette basically overnight. All it took was his dad to fall in love with a rehabbed coke addict that was the mother of the most popular girl in school (quick side note: Jackie Taylor is now an ordained minister-I wonder if her sermons are anything like her hosting skills were at the West Beverly fashion show). So David Silver got to play a good kid turned cool guy who developed a drug problem, became a rapper who sang with Baby Face, dated a slew of good looking women and somehow remained friends with all of them after the relationships ended, went on Vegas benders with Dylan McKay and managed a night club. Needless to say, as long as David Silver is privy to some of the syndication money, he is doing all right. Plus he’s Vanessa Marcil’s baby’s daddy.

David Silver’s decade sounds like a better 10 years than running from a fisherman with a hook, dating girls that are fixer-uppers, and chasing bad guys with a talking dog. And yes I know TV isn’t real, but sometimes my medicine doesn’t work and I just can’t tell.

If you have a comment, email me at tvdinner90210@yahoo.com.