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Hooking Up

Written by sdettorre

There’s a not-so-new craze spreading across this great land of ours. Millions of people have been logging on to the Internet over the past few years and putting themselves out there into the on-line dating world. Everyone knows of at least one person who’s tried this form of meeting people, probably with varying degrees of success. ABC, not being one to let any stone go unturned in trying to make a TV show, got swept up in the on-line dating fever. The only cure was to make a show documenting 11 women living in New York as they navigated their way on-line towards finding “The One” on Hooking Up.

Hooking Up takes place in New York and documents the plights of 11 women trying to find love. Or companionship. Or a guy with a potent seed. The women range from those in their early 20s to those in the late 30s. Some are pretty and some aren’t. Some are very nice girls and some are stuck up ice princesses. They all seem to want to find a man they could marry. So far none of them are dating online just to find another horizontal dancing partner. Then again if a woman wants to have sex all she has to do is ask. A woman can get laid whenever she wants. It boggles my mind when women complain about how they haven’t hooked up in a while. A woman could walk into a bank and ask every guy in the line if he wanted to go fool around and she would get no further than three before someone said ok. It’s just the way of the species. While I can’t write about every woman profiled on the show there are a few that are just too good to pass up.

Maryam
Maryam is a 29-year-old photographer. She claims she went online to find marriage. I don’t find her particularly attractive. She’s kind of sloppy and went on a first date wearing a hoodie. Now I’m not a member of the fashion police by any stretch. When I was a kid I wore jams, orange Chuck Taylors and Rec Specs. But to show up on a first date when she had marriage in mind, maybe Maryam should have washed her hair. Or worn something that doesn’t moonlight as post-workout gear. Her date etiquette wasn’t too sharp either. When she met one guy the first thing she said was he looked nothing like his picture. When a guy hears that the date is over right there. He has to assume she isn’t attracted to him. On another date Maryam asked this guy if a lot of people tell him he’s gay because he has a light voice. Again, not the best way to make a guy like you. “You know John you seem like a great guy and I think we have a lot in common but I just can’t shake the fact I think you might like my brother more than me.” She actually invited this guy home with her and asked him to sleep over but said nothing would happen and he had to sleep with his clothes on. I know there’s nothing I like more than sleeping in my jeans under a down comforter and 38 pillows in some random girl’s bed. If there’s not going to be any hooking up then go home and sleep alone. Also, it turns out this guy was kind of a sex-aholic nudist who goes on tropical vacations with a harem of women. Maryam can really judge character.

Reisha
Reisha is a 30-year-old who started her own business in New York. She is also interested in finding her Prince Charming via the Internet. She is very intelligent and seems to be pretty methodical in all forms of life. This trait transfers over to her dating life. One of the men Reisha dated was a guy named Acie. Acie lives in Atlanta but he and Reisha started talking and had a 2 month courtship over the phone. When he finally came to meet her in NY they hit it off instantly. There is one problem with Reisha that probably keeps her in neutral in a lot of her relationships. She has an issue with physical contact. She won’t kiss on the first date. Or the second. And apparently not on the third either. She said she might let Acie kiss her on her cheek. I understand the first date trepidation but date two and three? And Acie flew from Atlanta to be with her. I don’t think he’d go to that trouble if he was just looking for a little romp in the sheets. I wouldn’t even go to Maryland (which is on the same subway line I live on) to meet someone when I did online dating, let alone fly somewhere to meet a complete stranger. Acie genuinely had feelings for Reisha and made a hell of an effort to show her that. Not surprisingly, Reisha kept saying no to Acie when he wanted to be not just physical with her but also exclusive and their relationship eventually ended. She needs to understand that physicality is just as important as other aspects of a relationship. Without it they’re just friends who fly up and down the East Coast to hold hands.

Amy
Amy is the focus of the show. She is 28, from South Dakota and a mortgage broker. Unlike Reisha she is quick to jump into bed with a guy. But she does so because they expect it not necessarily because she wants to. A little insecure are we Amy? Amy is also slightly insane when it comes to what she’s looking for in a guy. She is definitely looking for marriage and tells the guys this on their first dates. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she asked a guy that and he slowly slid away from the table and ran home. What rational girl says that on a first date?

From the Hooking Up website, this is some of what she’s looking for in a date with my observations next to them in parenthesis of course…single (obviously, those married people are tough to get dates with) / a non-smoker (very reasonable, no one wants to kiss an ash tray) / live alone (of course, so she can easily move in after 3 weeks) / like animals (if you’re a zookeeper all the better) / are not overweight (she needs them to be on the go when looking at wedding dresses) / do not live with your mother (she already tackled this with the living alone question…is a sign of nagging) / are professionally employed (so my amateur status as a rodeo clown wouldn’t cut it) / don’t own any video games (what else are we supposed to do in our free time..read?) / don’t drink beer on a daily basis (how about on a nightly basis) / don’t spend sunny days watching sports (yeah because it’s never sunny on Sundays in the fall. One of the better enjoyments in life is walking out of a bar at 7 PM after a day of football and seeing the sun for the first time in 6 hours. For a short time you can feel like Mox, Billy Bob and the gang when they left the strip club their teacher worked at in Varsity Blues) / go to sleep at a reasonable hour (so we can wake up early and have a nice little Saturday) / are a morning person (do kegs and eggs count?) / don’t listen to rap music (I plan on 2 Live Crew playing at my wedding) / don’t have bad breath (I guess I shouldn’t eat onions like apples then) / are taller than 5’6” (your loss Tom Cruise, I guess you have to stay with Rob Thomas—I mean Katie Holmes) / are funny (it’s like breathing to me) straight (because there are a ton of gay guys looking to date women) / and willing to take me out this Thursday afternoon (so she wants a guy who has a job but also wants to be taken out on a Thursday afternoon. Kind of a catch-22). Needless to say Amy is quite high maintenance.

Hooking Up is an entertaining show for both men and women. Women get to see all the dates and the methods guys use in trying to court the women. Guys get to see women say what they’re thinking, which ultimately helps them out in the dating game. Basically it’s free advice on how women think and what they think about. If you’re like me, that’s like uncovering the Rosetta Stone.