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Dog The Bounty Hunter

Written by sdettorre

To people born before 1985, or 1977 like myself, the word bounty hunter evokes thoughts of one image and one image only, that of Boba Fett from the Star Wars movies. However, thanks to the A&E network finally trying to expand its programming to something other than Biography, Boba Fett might have a run for the title of most recognizable bounty hunter from Dog of Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Airing on Tuesday nights at 10 on A&E, Dog the Bounty Hunter is A&E’s answer (or knock-off) to HBO’s Family Bonds. The main character for which the show is named is bounty hunter Dog Chapman. Other members of the show, who are also bounty hunters, are Dog’s wife Beth, Dog’s son Leland and Dog’s brother Tim. The only place where you might find more tattoos than on the skin of the Chapman clan is in a Costco-sized pack of Bazooka Joe. Together the Chapmans run Da Kine Bail Bonds in Hawaii. I guess if you have to chase down criminals for a living, our 50th state isn’t a bad option. Basically what a bail bondsman does is front bail for someone who was arrested and can’t foot the bill. In taking out a bail bond the arrestee gives his word he’ll appear for his court date. If the potential felon skips on his court date, then a warrant is issued and Dog the Bail Bondsman becomes Dog the Bounty Hunter. Personally I think bounty hunter is a much cooler label, but then again I think the show would be funnier if Dog actually was a dog and he chased down felons, similar to Hooch from Turner and Hooch or Jerry Lee from K-9.

Dog looks like a cross between James Hetfield of Metallica, Big John Studd of the Hulkamania-era WWF, and Greg Evigan of My Two Dads. Dog knows the penal process well because he was on the wrong side of it several years back. He was sergeant-at-arms of a motorcycle gang back in the day. He was convicted of a murder he did not do and served 18 months in prison before being released. It was there that the warden told him to do something with his life. And now he chases down current day versions of his old self. And critics say our prison system doesn’t work. For shame to them I say, for shame.

Once Dog and Co. get the name of a fled arrestee they become private investigators to try and track him down. (By the way, whenever I hear the term private investigator I think of Magnum, P.I. I don’t know if this is because the show was popular when I was in my vocabulary forming stage or if it’s because I was Magnum for Halloween this year, grew a moustache and all. Unfortunately I looked more like Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s) Back to the column. So Dog uses any means necessary to track down the fled lawbreaker. In one episode he called the mother of a fleer and said he was an old prison buddy of his. Of course the mom gives out the number to him. I know my mom would give out my whereabouts to people that could possibly convince me to get back into crime, I mean what loving mother wouldn’t want her son to remain friends with old colleagues? Once Dog finds the location of the runner he and the group go after him like Star Jones after an endorsement and usually find him with ease. They don’t carry guns but rather a Raid-sized can of Mace. Upon catching their man, an Eastwood-esque catch phrase is used to the captured runner. One of my favorites is “you’re going to a hotel without a window”. After they catch the runner and give him the line, they handcuff him and take him to the police station. In the ride to the pokey Dog lectures the runner on life and how to turn his life around. I guess you could say Dog is a bounty hunter with a heart of gold.

I know A&E isn’t the first channel people turn to when they are looking for something to watch. And Dog the Bounty Hunter isn’t going to crack TV Steve’s Can’t Miss List. However if you don’t want to watch The Real World, and who could blame you, and need something to fill the time slot, Dog the Bounty Hunter is worth a shot because you never know if someone will get maced. And in doing so learn a valuable life lesson from a modern day Boba Fett with a black mesh tank top.