How Can I Advertise on HillZoo?

HillZoo Classifieds

Recent Reader Contributions

Your Uncle Bert spoke about (Hallo-whore-ween)
Nothing beats young ladies whoring it up on Halloween. I buy ‘em beers and cosmos, whatever they want, year after year. ...
Sarah spoke about (The Girls Next Door)
Kendra is the only good looking one… the other two are hideous… one is kinda chunky and looks like someones mom ...
whatev spoke about (The Girls Next Door)
PLEASE! DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THE GIRLS HAVE A FAN MAIL THAT YOU CAN WRITE TO, NOT MYSPACE OR BEBO, BUT ...
bosley spoke about (Hallo-whore-ween)
Just because your fat and ugly doesnt mean you should try and ruin everybody elses halloween fun. Let people dress as ...

Feature Archives

He Said, She Said Movie Reviews

Community

Useful Links

How Can I Advertise on HillZoo?

Privacy, Copyrights, Disclaimers & Other Policies

Heroes

Written by sdettorre

When someone says the word hero a few things come to mind. If you’re from Philadelphia you don’t think of Batman, but rather a piece of bread, preferably a roll of some kind, stuffed with meats, lettuce, tomato, dressing, pickles and a lot of other stuff. But for the most part a hero is defined as “a person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.” Along with Spiderman, George Washington and Rodney Dangerfield, the list of Heroes now includes a group of people who star in a show by the same name on NBC.

There are at least five separate heroes on Heroes. The show revolves around these characters and their daily lives. A professor, Doctor Ramamurthy, was mapping out these individuals and how their lives were unknowingly intersecting under the theory of something along the lines of advanced evolution when he was murdered by an enemy of his theory. My guess is the murderer probably home schooled his kids, thinks evolution is a bad movie starring David Duchovny and Stiffler and believes women come from a man’s rib. All that is known is the killer’s name is Syler. The professor’s son Sendhil is trying to find his father’s murderer all the while continuing his work. Along for the ride is his neighbor, who looks like a shorter-haired version of Rachel Bilson and sounds remarkably similar to her too. Hopefully she’ll call Sendhil “Cohen” by mistake one of these episodes. Anyway, Sendhil’s dad was tracking the unnatural abilities of several people around the world. Let’s meet some of them.

Masi Oka
Masi, located in Japan, has the superpower of being able to bend the space-time continuum. He can travel from a subway in Japan to Times Square in a blink of an eye. Unfortunately for him he can’t do it on the same day. When he pulled off the aforementioned feat he “landed” in New York five weeks later than when he got on the subway in Japan. I guess he had a layover at the Jetson’s house. Masi can also stop time if tries hard enough. Doc Brown had nothing on this guy.

Niki Sanders
Niki, located in Las Vegas, is a member of the adult entertainment community in Sin City. She has a young son whose father is on the run from the police since escaping from jail. Niki, played by Ali Larter, has the special power of becoming someone else when she looks in the mirror. I believe this is also called schizophrenia but I’m not Jason Seaver so I’ll hold off on that diagnosis. Instead of becoming a modern day Cybil, Niki should combine her porn career in Vegas with her past superpower of using whipped cream to make swimwear and defeat the bad guys with a little thing called sex appeal. Most men crumble at the site of a pretty girl. Give her clothes made out of dessert toppings and a mental disorder and you’d have yourself a new Wonder Woman.

Matt Parkman
Matt is a down on his luck beat cop in Los Angeles. He looks like Keanu Reeves if Keanu stopped making action movies and ate more donuts. Hoping for a promotion, Matt went to a murder scene. While there he could hear a little girl whispering. Turns out no one else could but Matt’s power led him to discover a girl who hid in a closet while her family was murdered. Matt proved his supernatural skills to his supervisor when he told her what she was thinking while she was questioning him. As a result Matt got shifted to the FBI where he can assist in the questioning of criminals by basically reading their mind. I wonder if Nancy Pelosi would make him get a warrant though. This power is eerily similar to Mel Gibson’s character in What Women Want. Hopefully Matt doesn’t let the power go to his head in a manner similar to Mel Gibson’s theatrics…you know, by making movies like What Women Want.

Claire Bennett
Claire is a high school cheerleader in Texas who witnessed an explosion and rescued a man inside. She wasn’t burned or injured in any way. Prior to her rescue she had premonitions of killing herself and made a video trying to do so but no matter what she did she couldn’t die. She is basically the Bugs Bunny of this group of heroes. How many times did Bugs get hit by a car, smacked by a hammer, dropped out of a plane, etc and just not give in to Elmer Fudd’s hare-brained schemes to kill him? While walking through the football practice field Claire was run over by the quarterback and her head turned 180 degrees and she just spun it right back into place. The same quarterback later tried to force himself on her and in doing so pushed her, and her head drove through a wooden spike. Eventually the spike was removed and Claire came to, in similar fashion to the way Vickie from Small Wonder used to turn herself on. Unfortunately for Claire she was on an autopsy table and the procedure had already started. In other bad news for Claire, her adoptive father may be the man who killed Doctor Ramamurthy. This angle has a Darth Vader showdown written all over it.

Isaac Mendez
Isaac is the hero who sees the action before any of it plays out. In other words, he can see into the future. He takes these visions and puts them on paper in paintings. He created a comic book featuring the adventures of Masi Oka. Masi, after he teleported himself to New York, saw this comic book and understandably freaked out. He kept the book and is using it as a playbook for his life. Remember, he went five weeks into the future to get to New York and when he went back to Japan it was as if he never left. He had his own personal Sports Almanac from Back to the Future II to use to change history. And already, much like how Biff knew UCLA would win in 1955, Masi knew to move a schoolgirl out of the way of a runaway truck. All thanks to Isaac’s soothsayer skills. His biggest premonition is a nuclear explosion in New York and he painted it on the floor of his apartment. It should be noted that Isaac is also a drug addict and no one takes his paintings to be true windows into the future. Let’s hope Masi knows what he’s doing.

Heroes is an entertaining new show, which isn’t something you hear everyday. The action moves from character to character and there isn’t too much time devoted to one storyline. This strategy of giving the viewer just a glimpse, or tease, of what’s to follow leaves them wanting a lot more.

Very similar to the effect a whipped cream bikini has.

If you’d like to comment, email me at tvdinner90210@yahoo.com